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Joke of the Day

"My Diaper Genie grants wishes, as long as you wish for a 40 pound bag of baby shit every week."

"So two guys walk into a bar... and the third one ducks."

"Friend: Did Eric survive the bear attack? Me: 'BEAR'-ly! F: HA! Any injuries? Me: {nervously} Ooooohhhhh BAD JOKE... He's definitely dead..."

"I hope all goes well with Princess Kate's baby delivery.., ...but I think it might turn out to be a royal pain in the ass."

"An Irish man walks out of a bar... ..."

"A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the office that evening the boy called out sulkily ' Mum ! your husband's just come home.'"

"Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once."

"You know who could really get a party started? Lenin."

"Why do they say ""be there or be square""? because if you are square, you are not around."

"OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then."