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Joke of the Day

"[in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy."

"""Don't kill it!"" my friend pleaded for a spider's life inside. So I carefully trapped it in a cup, brought it outside, then stomped on it."

"spent the last 36 minutes yelling at this ugly little girl to get off my lawn before realizing it was my naked reflection in the window."

"If by 'lucky' you mean I remember to clean the lint trap so it doesn't self combust, then yes, I'm up all night to get lucky. . . Again."

"My dad said, always leave them wanting more. Ironically, that's how he lost his job in disaster relief."

"Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet? Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element."

"Whats the incredible hulks favourite drink? Incredible mulk"

"I asked a few girls if they wanted to have a foursome... They said no. So I forced them"

"Why are there no good jokes about engineers? zzzzzzzzz, wait, I fell asleep at the punchline."

"Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth."