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Joke of the Day

"A tachyon leaves a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"People at work say i'm unnecessarily rude ... but i say fuck those cunts."

"Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas"

"I started playing a new drinking game recently, Every time I am depressed I take a drink. That game is called alcoholism."

"I think my girlfriend is being stalked... ...because I've been seeing people behind her back."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of their dogs."

"Apparently, Engineers talk how Doctors write"

"I have an EpiPen I don't need it but I always keep it for sentimental value. A friend of mines gave it to me as he was dying, I don't know why but it seemed very important to him I had it."

"[Christopher Nolan on the set of Batman Begins] Great Batman voice, Christian! Terrific stuff! [aside] maybe Batman shouldn't talk"

"Why do white girls group in odd numbers? because they *can't even.*"