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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening.."

"I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet"

"My husband and I play this game where we buy potato chips the other one doesn't like so we don't have to share."

"Original plans for Mt Rushmore had the mouths carved open so they would scream out bats at the setting sun then eat them again at dawn."

"Walked by a restaurant where they were using iPads for menus. How cheap are iPads now? More importantly, how expensive are menus?"

"Racist joke What's the difference between a cupcake and a Jewish person? A cupcake doesn't burn othe oven"

"What's the difference between... What's the difference between a women's track team and a pack of intelligent pygmies? The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts..."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward they would land in the boat!"

"What do you do if a purple elephant and a multicolored horse are following you? get off the merry-go-round! :)"

"Babies for dinner What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage!"