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Joke of the Day

"I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet"

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. Then he sits down"

"What happened to the guy who grabbed the Viagra instead of the Allegra? ...he had a hard time with his allergies"

"What is skeleton? Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!"

"Autocorrect changed ""you're so wise"" to ""you're so wide"", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home."

"""This is OnStar. How can we assist?"" ""What are you wearing?"" ""Do I need to get a supervisor?"" ""Like a threesome? Is that part of my plan?"""

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy."

"Him: Watch your language at dinner tonight. Me: So you want less Tarantino... H: ...and more Seuss. M: Gotcha. No swearing. Lots of rhyming."

"What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan? I'm floored!"

"A non sequiter walks into a bar 3"