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Joke of the Day
"""DAAAAAAAD!! LOKI KEEPS STEALING MY THUNDER!!"" -adolescent Thor"
Next Joke
"Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home? He forgot to pack his trunk."
"Oedipal Arrangements ...just like your mom used to make."
"My bloodtype is really disappointing. My doctor keeps saying ""be positive""."
"[interview] BOSS: How many words can you type a minute? ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean? ME: Well, like for example, pickle"
"The Nokia 3310 was ahead of its time... Dust proof, water proof, had a nearly infinite battery life, indestructible, AND no audio jack!"
"Rules to live by: 1. Be kind to strangers 2. Don't cheat on your taxes 3. Everything in moderation 4. Bury the body at sea"
"Why didn't the Soviet Union send Cosmonauts to the Moon? In case they didn't want to come back."
"I feel like I'm not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don't cut and dye my hair and change my identity."
"I'm giving up drinking. ... Hard liquor. ... On Wednesdays."