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Joke of the Day

"I feel like I'm not getting the full experience of a gas station bathroom if I don't cut and dye my hair and change my identity."

"What's the difference between a gay man and a Christian man? One fucks an asshole, the other is a fuckin' asshole."

"Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us."

"Why Won't Anyone Tell me the Name of Ukraine's 5th Largest City? They keep telling me to stop asking..."

"What's the difference between very large building and pigeon? just one 's'. One is skyscraper and the other one is skycraper."

"I was going to have an 'end of the world' party... ...but I couldn't get the day off work."

"Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button."

"My friend showed me some of his childhood photos. ""These look nothing like you!"" My friend responded ""Why would they?"""

"I don't' carelessly utter profanities like a commoner. I take my time and articulate them properly; after all I'm a fcuking gentleman."

"A sloth walks into a bar 10 minutes later, bartender says ""Sorry we're closed."""