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Joke of the Day

"Hey, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Also tonight."

"What would MLK be if he was alive? White"

"I'm a Buddhist coke head I hope when I'm reincarnated I come back as a donkey, so I can grind my teeth all day."

"Justin Bieber isn't gay he just likes to get his cheekbones blown out."

"Barber pointed out my new gray hairs and said I looked refined. I hope someone tells him the key marks on his car looks like racing stripes."

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises... The librarian said, ""I don't think it's in yet."" I said, ""Yes, that's the one."""

"What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium? HeHe"

"Why does Karl Marx's toilet play music every time you flush it? Because of the violins inherent in the cistern."

"How do you think the whole Deflategate situation feels to Tom Brady now? Probably doesn't feel how he prefers it to..."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I'm not going to jelly my dick down your throat!"