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Joke of the Day

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises... The librarian said, ""I don't think it's in yet."" I said, ""Yes, that's the one."""

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"""Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."" -Actually this is Oxymoron Club. ""Ok, same difference."" *looks at group* -Oh, this guy is good."
"What did the decimal say to his wife? ""Damn girl, I'm about to decimate dat ass."""
"If i had a dollar for every time i heard the word trump I would have it on repeat while i slept."
"My Dogs name is... My dogs name is Jesus because I am still waiting for him to come back"
"Why was the man sent to prison after staying up all night? Because he was resisting a rest."
"Caught myself yelling ""FUCK YOU"" to my burrito for dripping on pants, feet & bed, if you were wondering who's raising the next generation."
"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her."
"What do you call a piece of spaghetti that steals people's identities? An impasta!"
"A Photon Checks into a hotel... The bellhop ask, ""can I help you with your luggage?"" It replies, ""I don't have any, I'm traveling light."""