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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex."

"PLEASE LEAVE CHRIS BROWN ALONE, in the woods, surrounded by a pack of wolves."

"Hey man, want to buy some stolen peppers? Careful, they're hot."

"I illegally download music, but only Metallica. They seem to be pretty cool about it."

"What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral? Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door"

"What do you say when you are trying to comfort a grammar nazi? There, their, they're"

"Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business. She does the ironing and he does the stealing."

"I'd rather pick my nose in traffic than arrive at my destination with a crusty booger. Anyone who says different is a liar."

"What do you call a French General who charged into battle and died? Napoleon Blownaparte"

"A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn't I see you on a TV commercial? How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?"