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Joke of the Day

"Why did Waldo go to therapy? ..to find himself."

"I can tell y'all this; it was no black man that came up with the name 'tea-bagging' for that shit. It'd have been something like 'ball-dunk'"

"I've fallen in love with a fellow ventriloquist's doll. But she's already spoken for."

"You'll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace"

"Garbanzo beans vs chickpeas I used to to not know the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea. But last night I definitely didn't have a garbanzo on my face."

"One time I exaggerated so hard that I died."

"I don't get Trump's hate on Mexicans... ... They'll chant ""You, ese!"" just as well as any other person in this country!"

"I'm not a big fan of chick flicks, but my girlfriend pressured me to pick a favourite. I went with Pounds per Square Inch Love You."

"build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Why Cant Girls Count To 70? .....Because 69 is a mouthful"