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Joke of the Day

"I think it's about time Taylor Swift wrote a song and called it ""Maybe I am The Problem""."

"What does the earth eat for breakfast? Continental breakfast, served on tectonic plates."

"I saw that show locked up abroad. I expected to see more than just a women getting locked up. But that's all it was, that show is so literal."

"Friday, Friday, all gonna die next Friday. Everybody's gettin' ready for the world's end. Gotta make My mind up: Which souls should I take?"

"What kind of bees make milk? Boo bees"

"Made it to that level of dad where I just called dibs on the TV that I bought in the house that I own with the cable I pay for."

"But man says to the doctor: Wojak I am the pepe"

"A beggar attacked me with a frying pan... ... he was arrested for panhandling."

"The worst thing about being British with Crohns... ...Is all the the bloody shits you take."

"I need to hire someone to follow me around and abruptly drag a needle across a record every time that I enter a room."