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Joke of the Day

"On the periodic table, the elements are represented by two groups. The symbols and the atomic number. Law and Order: Atomic Mass Unit"

"I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.L Then it dawned on me."

"At 14 I asked my dad about a tattoo. He said ok as long as I got it someplace that doesn't matter. So I got it in Detroit."

"Generally speaking, a woman's hotness is directly proportional to the number of times your wife calls her a whore."

"I've been driving for about seven years and haven't had an accident yet... I guess you could call me a wreckless driver"

"I heard Monica lewinsky voted for Trump Just to fuck a Clinton one more time"

"I've just found out I can have sex at 65 I live at number 59 so it's only a short walk!"

"How do you make a plumber cry? You murder his family."

"Good thing ""you only live once"" has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it's no big deal"

"If you're able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging."