152034

Joke of the Day

"Love is like a machine... ...sometimes you just need a good screw to fix it."

"I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie and he said we could discuss it tonight in a ""National Town Meeting."""

"The first messenger to say ""Don't kill the messenger"" definitely got killed in the face."

"As an ass assessor, I assess asses."

"I want my group project members to lower me into my grave.... ... So that they can let me down one last time."

"Don't die a virgin!!! ...Seriously there are terrorists up there waiting for you!"

"Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a while...so your wallet doesn't think you're a loser."

"Tater Tots is a much better name than the original Crispy Potato Embryos."

"Gay dudes need to clarify when saying they went through a box of tissues watching a movie."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."