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Joke of the Day

"I am genderfluid I sexually identify as mayonnaise. If you can't stand it than you neeed to ketchup."

"What borders on silly? Mexico & Canada"

"""I've an appointment with Dr Patel."" ""Dr Patel is off sick today so-"" [slowly backs away & whispers] ""U people can't even help yourselves."""

"Decades of video games have left me unjustifiably overconfident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."

"I don't trust those trees They seem kind of shady"

"I like my women like I like my ice cream, Rich, creamy, and in my freezer."

"Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing"

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first."

"Why did the teacher cross her eyes? Because she couldn't control her pupils."

"jomomma.ninja Jo Mamma is so Ninja, that even Chuck Norris sent her a Friend request."