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Joke of the Day

"That awkward moment someone begins a tweet with ""that awkward moment"" & I slap their face with my dong."

"Why are the best accountants twins from Prague? Because they always double Czech their work!"

"how many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they'll give 'em four credits for it."

"So I was looking for pedophiles in my neighborhood using one of those websites and it asked me to register. Now I am legally obligated to tell you that I am a sex offender"

"What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch? There is no cod"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Junkie Barbie ...complete with needle tracks"

"Self Pleasure Joke NSFW You ever whack off so much your hand pretends to be asleep?"

"I don't understand why we give bad kids coal. Isn't coal what minors want?"

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"What do communists put in their soup? Soviet Onions."