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Joke of the Day

"So I was looking for pedophiles in my neighborhood using one of those websites and it asked me to register. Now I am legally obligated to tell you that I am a sex offender"

"Why does Pinocchio lie? because he's a fucking liar"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because number 7 is Luis Suarez, and he'll eat 9, 10, 11 and the rest of your team. (Disclaimer: The joke above is only applicable when he plays for Liverpool)"

"there once was a man from nantucket whose butthole was as wide as a bucket when it was full of goop, how did he poop? very carefully lmao"

"All a farmer needs to do to get a girlfriend is... ...attract her."

"I got a round of flu shots... They tasted horrible."

"Made-up joke from a 9-year old: ""Where are the king's armies?"" ""Up his sleevies."""

"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A tyrano-snore-us rex."

"I think it's sweet that teens text ""U up?"" really late at night to check that their friends are getting to bed at a reasonable hour"

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer Bartender replies ""For you, no charge""."