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Joke of the Day

"So I was looking for pedophiles in my neighborhood using one of those websites and it asked me to register. Now I am legally obligated to tell you that I am a sex offender"

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"A helicopter I know was really frustrated after trying to grow his facial hair out His beard was Apache one"

"2 pedophiles are sitting on a bench and a 12-year-old girl runs by... One turns to the other and says, ""Man, I bet she used to be really hot!"""

"Say what you will about censorship on Reddit [removed]"

"My wife said she wouldn't have sex with me until I did everything on the ""To-Do list"" So I scratched out **#1** ""*Wash the car*"" and replaced it with ""*Have a three-some with Becky and Wife*"""

"What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? My refrigerator doesn't fart when I pull my meat out of it."

"Did you hear about the shipment of Viagra that was stolen? Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals."

"I invited a friend to go hunt some gods with me... But he just can't deicide."

"I can count on one hand the number of times I've blown four of my fingers off with illegal fireworks."