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Joke of the Day
"Every time I cook risotto I feel like Gordon Ramsey is going to walk in and scream at me."
Next Joke
"""What's wrong with our country?"" OBAMA! ""Who are we going to reelect in 2012?"" OBAMA!"
"I'm as useless as the top two buttons on a Greek mans dress shirt."
"Recently joined the mile high club sandwich. That's when you have sex on a plane, and it's with a sandwich"
"I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore."
"What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names."
"What was the root of the problem dark ages? The potato famine."
"What do you call a gynecologist? Lip Reader"
"Because you crave something doesn't mean it's good for you. Every time my husband opens his mouth about politics I crave instant death."
"(Final maths exam) Q: what are the two small horizontal parallel lines? a) double negative b) equals c) eleven fell over"