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Joke of the Day

"Whooooaaaa, I'm halfway therrreee WHOOOAAAA, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRRR Take this wig, we'll fake it I swearrrrr WHOAOHH, LOSING ALL MY HAIRRR"

"What do you call a pepper in late autumn? A little chili"

"I don't know why everyone is suddenly talking about Twerking... My mate from Yorkshire has been doing it for years. As he says, it's how he gets t'money t'pay t'bills."

"If 4 people have sex is called a four-some 3 people have sex is a three-some and 2 people have sex is a two-some Now you know why they call me handsome"

"How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just watch it burn out and follow it around for 30 years."

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"Sadly learned my family is racist. I started dating a black girl. Brought her home to meet the family. Wife and kids wouldn't talk to her."

"Customer: Waiter this food is repeating on me. Waiter: Good we love repeat business."

"How did the Santa Lawn Ornament feel the day after Christmas? He was de-lighted."

"What's the difference between a joke and a religion? Jokes are rarely offered as an excuse for civilised people to kill other people."