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Joke of the Day

"How did the Santa Lawn Ornament feel the day after Christmas? He was de-lighted."

"How does every racist joke start? [looks over both shoulders]...."

"I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery."

"Just saw a magazine cover that said ""Katy Perry is on fire"" so I bought it and they meant it as a metaphor and this whole week is bullshit"

"What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless!"

"What are the specs on your computer? Oh those? They're just my reading glasses."

"Girls always think I'm ugly until they see what's in my bank account Then they think I'm ugly AND poor"

"Two programmers walk into a bar: a blond, a brunette and a red head."

"Moms are like feet [NSFW] The more you talk about them in public, the more everyone assumes you want to have sex with them."

"Me and a buddy went to an amputee party It was crawling with pussy."