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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why everyone is suddenly talking about Twerking... My mate from Yorkshire has been doing it for years. As he says, it's how he gets t'money t'pay t'bills."

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"Fun prank: Tell an English major how ""impactful"" something is."
"*knock knock* ""Who's there?"" ""Dishes"" ""Dishes who?"" ""Dishes a very bad joke"" ...Credits to Sans..."
"So I asked my friend, ""I hear your husband applied for a position in the government"" Me:""What is he doing now?"" Friend: ""Nothing"" Me: ""But I thought he got the job!?"" Friend: ""Yes he did."""
"I've just wrecked myself. I wish I'd checked myself beforehand."
"drity What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Her wedding cake."
"The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently."
"Why did the stop sign get an STD? Because it had a 4-way."
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"
"It's weird how scantrons make you go #2 all over them."