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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers? I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive. edit: grammar"

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"Man, I hated Alex Haley, the author of Roots... He always had his niggers in a *twist*."
"A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar They came, they saw, they conquered"
"It seems the amount of coffee you drink... increases the amount of times you need to visit the toilet excrementally."
"""I want a guy who treats me right, listens to me and makes me feel good. But until then, I'll keep dating a$$holes and complaining."" Women"
"I wish 'twitter' was an irregular verb so we could conjugate it thusly: twitter, twat, twitten huehue"
"Why did the mermaid cover her breasts with seashells? She outgrew her B shells."
"Whats the difference between a zippo and a hippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."
"What did the deaf, blind, retarded kid get for Christmas Cancer."
"All of the fortune tellers I've met are either really depressing or overly enhusiastic. Why can't I find a happy medium?"