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Joke of the Day

"I wish 'twitter' was an irregular verb so we could conjugate it thusly: twitter, twat, twitten huehue"

"Pao sucks. Don't mind me, I'm just jumping on the hate wagon."

"I forgive you, but I hope your death is written, produced, and directed by Quentin Tarantino."

"Lif's too short"

"Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys? Because he is a little shellfish."

"I had sex with a prostitute the other night... It turned out to be a rash decision."

"What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell"

"If everyone was like you the human race would lose faith in the world."

"You're so unfamiliar with the gym... You call it James"

"squirrel probs"