23360

Joke of the Day

"A fighter plane mechanic goes to the doctor for his impotence. The doctor examines him and then writes a brief diagnosis. ""Could not reproduce"""

"Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls? *Broadview*"

"""Hello, 911"" Hi it's Mickey my dog is hurt bad ""Is it Goofy or Pluto?"" I don't see how- ""Goofy or Pluto?"" Pluto ""Call a vet"" *hangs up*"

"Him: Are you on your way? Me: Yes, this cab driver sucks! *changes outfit for the 6th time, gulps wine and requests an uber*"

"What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon? The Bear Glare."

"My roommate says that I'm hard to live with... Where does the arrogant bastard get off saying things like that, He muttered it under his breath in the shower... Son of a bitch."

"The difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"""Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"" ""It's rated aaarrrrrrrr."""

"No, of course I'm not mad. It's fine. *goes home, starts building a Death Star."

"I held the record for collecting Stephen King's books. Then I lost It."