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Joke of the Day

"Will you get mad? Wife: *Honey, do I look fat in this dress?* Husband: *Will you get mad if I tell you the truth?* Wife: *No, silly. Of course not* Husband: *I slept with your sister*"

"What is Long and narrow and becomes bigger when given a blow ? A balloon."

"If killing a king is called regicide, what do you call killing a queen? Homocide."

"So I was doing research on WWII. The Americans were winning the war with flying colors. And by that of course, I mean the Tuskegee Airmen."

"Told this girl to text me when she got home ... I think she's homeless"

"What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? A rooster will say cock a doodle do! But a hooker will say any cock will do!"

"The first thing I'm doing with my time machine is telling my past self to only microwave popcorn for 2 minutes max."

"If there's something weird in lands beyond the Wall and it don't look good Who you gonna call? Nine Wun Wun"

"What's a monster's favorite bean? A human bean. "

"The twist in M. Night Shyamalan's next film is that it turns out to be a good movie."