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Joke of the Day

"Why does Donald Trump take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks."

"How do you clean a condom? You put it in a pot and boil the fuck out of it."

"What did Thor start calling Ironman after he learned the suit was made out of gold titanium alloy? Ironyman ... To be fair Goldtitaniumalloyman just didn't have the same ring."

"I swallow at least one note per meal that says ""we're all really proud of you,"" in case the person who does my autopsy is having a bad day."

"My lesbian friend asked what I wanted for my birthday... ... All I got was this stupid rolex!"

"What kind of joke do peeping Toms like? In-ya-window"

"COP: Did the suspect have a birthmark? MARK: He's alive so I'm assuming he had a birth, yes."

"Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts. ( this joke made me laugh my butt of when i was a kid)"

"I'm trying to give up ice cream. It's been a rocky road."

"Everybody always says say ""No!"" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late"