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Joke of the Day

"Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster."

"I'm just waiting for the right person to come along and mistake my crippling pessimism for an attractive sense of humor."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand? Cuatro cinco"

"My friend was talking about how he sleeps when its dark around. So I'd advised him not to join the basketball team."

"My wife said to me ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" I answered ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."""

"First Review in for ""The Force Awakens"" Absolutely to die for"

"Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I'm by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. :("

"How many dead hookers does it take to change out the light in my basement? Well...apparently more than four."

"I'm being managed by Don King again"

"Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company? He took a day off"