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Joke of the Day

"Put all your neighbors names on your Halloween tombstones in your front yard and wink when you're outside and they walk by."

"Time to get ready for work Insomnia - OK. You can sleep now."

"People who talk with your phone on speaker like it's a Star Trek Communicator - we're trying to have a society here. And everyone hates you."

"Does the world really need another rhetorical question?"

"Why is reddit bad grammar? Because you can't read a dit."

"You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don't scroll through the rest of their photos."

"Kinky is when you bring a feather into the bedroom. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken."

"Not a single character in any horror or sci-fi film can possibly ever have watched even one horror or sci-fi film."

"My friend went into a sudden trance where she imagined she was stuck in a Pistachio. I told her to snap out of it. -She couldn't.-"

"Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere"