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Joke of the Day

"[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust? Orange Jews from concentrate"

"During cold days blondes stand in the corner of the room because... ...there it is always 90 degrees."

"What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card? One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets."

"What do you call a man with no arms? Anything you want. He is 'armless"

"There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we've had."

"A skeleton walks into a bar.. Something something beer and mop.."

"I don't have tinted windows on my car because if people don't like watching me dance, they can tint their own goddamn windows."

"Schroedinger either gave the best or the worst presents."

"a fruedian slip is when you say one thing. . . . when you're thinking of a mother."

"I was walking in the woods the other day... ... when I ran into a bear and I accidentally played Dad instead of Dead. Now it can ride its bike with not training wheels"