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Joke of the Day
"Whenever I wear shorts it looks like I murdered a fat toddler and stole his pants."
Next Joke
"An Apple a day may keep the Doctor away!!!... But an Onion a day keeps Everybody away!!!"
"[installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?"
"How did the hipster burn his tongue ? cos he drank he coffee before it was cool..."
"Have you heard of the hard-working blind prostitute? You really gotta hand it to her."
"The cops were called... to the local childcare because a kid was resisting a rest. 30 minutes later the cops were called back because of an apparent kid-napping."
"Why was the lobster upset? Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!"
"How do people want Trump right now? [removed]"
"What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster? Yes!"
"If a woman has eight vaginas... She'd be an octopus."