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Joke of the Day
"Whenever I wear shorts it looks like I murdered a fat toddler and stole his pants."
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"What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter? Cairo-practor."
"What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party? The cat ate her."
"Why did ancient Egyptians love beans? They made Tootin' Common."
"Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? ....because he's married."
"remeber: you hav the same number of hours in the day as this tree. and how much oxygen hav u produced? oh none? oh u CONSUMED OXYGEN!?!???"
"if you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape"
"Shout out to all the girls that got pregnant last night and don't know it yet"
"How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break."
"It's not a ""gay"" wedding or a ""straight wedding"" it's a ""waste of money they could have used for a down payment."""