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Joke of the Day

"5yo: [loudly whispers] MOMMY, SEE? WE'RE LETTING YOU AND DADDY SLEEP! AREN'T WE DOING GOOD? Me: [in bed] Yeah. You're doing GREAT."

Next Joke
 
"A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers."
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"Don't have a ""Garage sale"" if I can't buy your garage idiot."
"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."
"I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set."
"Why did they skip Windows 9? Because 7 8 9!"
"I'm sorry, all I hear is your perfume"
"What's the worst thing about one-liners in /r/jokes?"
"What did the poor, unfortunate, paraplegic kid get for christmas? Cancer."
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