69263

Joke of the Day

"A jealous girlfriend is a faithful girlfriend. If she doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has hers."

"Lava can't melt marble columns. Pompeii was an inside job! WAKE UP ROME!"

"Mom She gave me life She gave me love She gave me sarcasm She gave me the ability to cut brake lines so that it looks like an accident."

"A joke that never ends.. I would like to start a thread that everyone adds to the joke and see how creative we can all get"

"It's my birthday today and, as a special treat, my wife has said I can have anything I want tonight. Her arse will be red raw tomorrow. Curry for dinner."

"Stages of Candle Burning 1: this smells nice 2: still smells nice 3: this is all I can smell now 4: this is the only scent I have ever known"

"My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She's in the shower & I'm wondering when she realizes it's Sunday. This is beautiful."

"Asians be like... ay bb u wan sum duck?"

"If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years"

"What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine? I turned MY student loans into vodka..."