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Joke of the Day

"The day after Thanksgiving is often the biggest capitalist/materialistic shopping day every year. I'm protesting it this year, and had to think of the movement's slogan... Black Fridays Matter."

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"A new report says that the average U.S. University Freshman reads at a 7th grade level. To any College Freshmen out there, big words say you can't read big words."
"Why was the empty penis so scary? Because it was a hollow wiener (halloweener) [works better spoken - I think - just made it up in the shower]"
"What's a woman's favorite monkey? Macaque."
"What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common? They both want to make it rain."
"Math is like my parenting. I do it when I have to, but I'm not great at it."
"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine? A: She demanded $200000 and a parachute."
"14-year old Becky writes ""Stop wars"" as her Facebook status. It gets nine ""likes"", all from world leaders. Peace reigns forever. She did it."
"How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down"
"Give a man a fish... And, apparently, you're a shitty secret Santa."