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Joke of the Day
"Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world."
Next Joke
"""Sure, you could bury it but hear me out."" Taxidermy is invented."
"Doctor: I'm sorry to say but you have cancer and Alzheimer's. Patient: Well at least I don't have cancer. - Jackie Martling"
"Bae: come over Me: I can't, I'm hanging out with your parents. Bae: my parents aren't home. Me: I know. I just... You never listen Susan."
"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""
"My car is probably the most expensive bird toilet I own."
"its such a weird coincidence that all these young financial successes all have rich parents, despite being completely self-made"
"Hey, the army. Camouflage your helicopters blue, not green. You're fucking welcome."
"Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me"""
"What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist? Willing suspension of disbelief"