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Joke of the Day
"How do we know that Greek yogurt's Greek? Because it's whey strained."
Next Joke
"Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s"
"A girl came up to me the other day... and told me she saw me at the vegan club but I never saw herbivore."
"The most common phrase in China: ""Hey! You look familiar!"""
"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""
"If your smartphone is wet.. .. put it into a bottle of rice. The rice will then attract asians who will repair it."
"If Bill Clinton ever says ""I can't. My wife would kill me"" What he really means is his wife would have him killed."
"Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad."
"Accidentally got a ""male"" order bride and I was gonna return him but Sergei is just so good with my kids"
"What did the lighter color shade tell to its dark lover? I want hue."