55790

Joke of the Day

"Why cant Helen Keller drive a car? ..Because she's dead."

"Dude's trunk just popped open in front of me on the expressway ramp. I instinctively looked to see if any of you were in there."

"[trick or treating] ""Oh, what a cute little...what's she doing?"" Me: potty training. ""In my pumpkin?!"" Me: She likes the heated seat."

"A man gave his dog a bone... and was subsequently charged and tried with beastiality."

"Why do parents send their toddlers to the army for daycare? Because they're sending them to the infantry!"

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where ever you left him!"

"when you move to a new town everyone wants to date you because they don't know you're a piece of shit yet. i highly recommend it."

"I used to be in a band, we were called 'lost dog'. You probably saw our posters."

"Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop? Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away."

"I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself. No fence. Nun taken."