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Joke of the Day

"when you move to a new town everyone wants to date you because they don't know you're a piece of shit yet. i highly recommend it."

"Why does it have to be a white Christmas? #BlackChristmasMatters"

"Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm riding a Big Wheel on the freeway? Officer: A STOLEN BIG WHEEL"

"I know a great knock knock joke. You start."

"A slutty egg walks into a bar. Everyone starts laughing at her. ""I don't get it. What's so funny?"" she demands. The bartender says, ""Well, the yoke's on you."""

"Went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal .... didn't work ... still grumpy."

"My first time watching the women's Olympic vollyball last night, one minute in there was already a wrist injury. I'm better today though, no worries."

"Who's the idiot that named it a Brazilian and not a Tropical Smoothie?"

"[Short] What is the best color? Reddit"

"If you managed to figure out the code to someone else's luggage... Could you say you solved the case?"