34074

Joke of the Day

"Why did Michael Jackson go to Macy's? He heard boys' pants were half off."

"Leo finally won an Oscar. His acting must have been a solid 5/7."

"Why couldn't the fruit get married? They cantaloupe"

"What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore? The Pittsburgh Steelers"

"Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game? They needed to give their characters an eye-patch."

"guaranteed Smile... possible Snigger if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

"Why does jesus not play video games? Everytime he dies he has to wait 3 days to respawn"

"What do you call a fat alien? An extra-cholesterol. ...I'm so sorry."

"What do you call a person who sexually identifies as a Xenomorph? An alie-kin"

"implant permanent instagram filters on the cornea of my eyes so everything I see looks nostalgic and vintage"