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Joke of the Day

"Where do bourgeois monarchists get their coffee? Tsarbucks"

"Three Signs You're Getting Older I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. The first is senility And I forget the other two."

"To the person crowding me in the checkout line, do you want a hug .. 'cause if you get any closer, I'm gonna assume you do and give you one."

"TIFU by Mixing up my Pastor's Sandwich Order at Subway! Whoops, wrong *sub*."

"[lawyer whispers to plaintiff] two can play this game ""Your honor. Upsexy."" Judge: what's upsexy? ""that's harassment. move to change venues"""

"Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper? A. Yes if you wrap an iron in it."

"what do you call a closet full of lesbians? a liquor closet"

"Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements? Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)"

"How do skeletons make a baby? They bone"

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't confuse them with your mom."