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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a starfish shine? Drop it in sparkling water."

"What country are you most likely to get a disease? GERMany."

"During our First Dance at our Wedding My new wife looked into my eyes and said ""Where have you been my whole life?"" I said ""SOBER"""

"Do you know what the Steve Harvey autobiography is called? Neither does his publisher. He gave it a title, but then took it back."

"You can keep retaking all the photos you want but that's just what your face really looks like"

"A blind man walks into a bar and a table...and a chair"

"Hey, new Beatles fans! The fuck have you been doing for the last 50 years? Every record shop would like to know before they close forever."

"I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET Boss hangs a poster in Office ""I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"" He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk. ""Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."""

"Wow I can't believe I stopped a girl from being raped tonight... I got exhausted and stopped chasing her."

"I tried to make a few jokes about french people they were all really rude so I didn't bother"