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Joke of the Day

"Shopping for insect repellent spray is so sexy.... I always get Off."

"Where do esport players go if they get arrested? Guantanamo ebay"

"I just saw the Kardashian sisters and now I feel more Christmassy. Ho Ho Ho."

"Ever wonder why tiny little paper cuts hurt so bad? Cause you're a pussy"

"I'm having problems with my cat, He told me i was a prima-donna, which makes no sense. She became famous in the 80's and I was born in '93. I am most certainly post-Madonna."

"""you okay man?"" listen dude... i know what im doing *lights a cigarette backwards* ive seen Guy Code like six times"

"A little Muslim girl tells her husband: ""I want to be a feminist when I grow up."" Husband says: ""You can do one or the other, you can't do both."""

"I shouldn't play with Legos? It says ""Ages 7 & Up"". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class."

"Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson? The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library."

"Vanish- The World's Number 1 Stain Remover' Is there a number 2 stain remover? My boxer shorts are absolutely fucked."