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Joke of the Day

"Statistically speaking, every male has had a crush on a teacher... For me, it's my wife's yoga instructor."

"What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft."

"How are parsley and pubic hair similar? You push them both aside and start eating."

"How do you fit 4 gay men on a barstool? Flip it over."

"What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA."

"*Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food."

"""Honey, the baby sure is fussy. Why don't we go see a movie after we goto a nice, quiet restaurant?"""

"How do you know you're talking to a pilot? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Parents, talk to your kids about grammar. Forget drugs and sex, they'll learn that shit on the streets."

"Q: What do Fidel Castro and Harambe have in common? A: They're both dead gorillas."