34926

Joke of the Day

"I knocked over the altar at a Buddhist temple the other day and spilled ash all over the monks They were incensed"

"Money is the root of all evil, until the collection plate comes around"

"I've met many Richards... However, some of them are Dicks."

"Top three reasons he doesn't text you back: 1. He's just not that into you 2. He's imaginary 3. He's a cat"

"A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar... A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar. Immediately, the bartender walks up and says: ""Hey! You guys can hang out here...just don't try and start anything."""

"I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"You know what they say about girls with big feet...? They gotta wear big shoes."

"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""

"That's 49 -7 in dog goals."

"Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? Hello! Is it me you're looking for? (Lionel Richie, speed dating)"