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Joke of the Day

"My son asked me to stop singing oasis songs in public... I said maybe."

"I know we haven't talked in awhile but I've been thinking about us a lot and I was wondering if u remembered the name of that burrito place"

"Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back."

"To follow up on the Java/C# joke... Q: Why did the Java Developer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays."

"'the red wedding was my favorite part' -- drone operator"

"Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn't stop that murder."

"So a scientist working the Large Hadron Collider lied on some lab reports He's a real Higgs Boso"

"My wife likes too talk after sex So she calls me from the hotel room."

"I wonder if meat-packing plants charge for services rendered."

"Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter."