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Joke of the Day

"A guy gets hit on the head by a falling soda can. But he's allright. Guess he was lucky *puts on sunglasses* It was a soft drink #FFFC"

"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."

"Q: How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: What ? Go all the way up there and come back empty ? You must be jokin' mate !"

"I wanted to post a joke about tofu but it's tasteless."

"I've never met an air conditioned room I did not like."

"I hate when I mean to type 'porn links' but I type 'pork links' and then suddenly I'm horny AND hungry."

"My city has been putting in tons of toll booths. Yesterday I had to pay ten cents before they'd let me pass through an intersection! At least I was able to turn on a dime."

"Time for a , ""How many ___ does it take to screw in lightbulb?"", thread! Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Just another lawyer joke Lawyer: ""Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"" Witness: ""By death."" Lawyer: ""And by whose death was it terminated?"""

"Sometimes when people text me ""K"", I like to text them ""L- omg you next!!"""