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Joke of the Day

"My Grandpa got his tongue shot off in the war... But He never talks about it."

"A large hole appeared outside the local police station. They're looking into it."

"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool."

"Have you ever smelled moth balls? How did you get its tiny legs apart?"

"How do you catch a whale? You wait until last call and use a good pick up line."

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?"

"Some people complain about it, but I don't really mind going into work every morning... It's the 8 hour wait to go home again that pisses me off."

"Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion."

"Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected."

"What does P.E.T.A. stand for? People Eating Tasty Animals !"