9519

Joke of the Day

"If a tree falls in the woods, and there are no English majors around to hear it... does is lay on the ground, or lie?"

"*something awful happens* *checks if Mercury is in retrograde*"

"What's a blind person's favorite fast food joint? Taco Braille"

"Wine improves with age, I improve with wine."

"I also do all my own stunts, but never intentionally."

"I couldn't work at a Rainforest Cafe without yelling ""You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! You're gonna die!"""

"Why are a good majority of Americans obese? At least the food won't take away their rights. Do a little oppression of their own."

"I hate autocorrect... It turns my writing into a total duckfest."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It saw a cock!"

"What does the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit"