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Joke of the Day

"What do accountants use for birth control? Their personalities."

"I just fell through the roof of a French bakery I'm in a world of pain."

"Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help."

"What happened after the word bank was robbed? There was a run on sentences."

"""PSST."" It came from my waffles. ""PSST,"" again. ""What?"" I ask, furtively. ""You look really nice today."" Complimentary Breakfast"

"anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer"

"What's the easiest part about eating Jews for dinner? They're pre cooked"

"""Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."""

"Why are blondes bad a judging distance? They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker."

"Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is bullshit!"