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Joke of the Day

"I don't mind holding my wife's purse. It's the only time I get to be close to my balls."

"What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop? Your tires are low."

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One's a scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and the other's a fish."

"I insulted a communist. I told him he was dressed ""classy"""

"What do you call a group of Rhode Islanders? A traffic accident."

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"My wife told me she wanted kinky sex... So I gave her the ghomeshi"

"NALA: Why can't you be the king I know? The king you have inside you? SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king."

"""That was supposed to be a compliment."" -Men"

"Humpty Dumpty had a great fall But his winter wasn't so hot..."