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Joke of the Day

"If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice... ... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."

"City Life At first I was Ern(e)st and Young, but then became Standard and Poor: yet when I got broody I was rated as Moody, loosing my triple A score"

"Is Israel Real? if Palestinians eyes are real?"

"Is your fridge running? Nah, it's chillin."

"How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk !"

"What did the salad say as it was thrown into jail? ""Lettuce Go!"""

"I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. And then it hit me. It was because we were inflating it."

"My wife has a logic fetish... She's always coming to conclusions."

"I'm no longer with a girl because she lied about her weight. She died in a bungee jumping accident."

"Two balloons are floating in the desert. one balloon says to the other, ""hey! watch out for that cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"""